17 August, 2013

Looking at the Past

Water Color on paper 9"x12" 2003
I have had a version of writer's block, "painter's block" since May.  I have a painting that I am working on, and I am very excited for the work I want to do with it, but it has been very tough for me to focus and concentrate.   I feel very distracted.  
There are things happening in my personal social, work, love life that have me reflecting back to other times, comparing my life now to then.  All of it has been wearing down on my spirit.  A feeling of being overwhelmed by life, and not enough stregnth in my dreams to carry me forward.   
The painting above is a water color that I worked on in 2003, another time in my life that I was without oil painting.   I did this water color as quick attempt to explore other medium in my own style.  When I worked on this, it too was an emotionally trying time in my life.  I was feeling out of sync with life, and continuing on the daily path.  I was not expressing myself enough then, and now, I feel maybe in some ways, I have felt my expression stifled? 
Water Color on paper 9"x12" 2003

Whether the reasons for feeling this way are reasonable or of my own fabrication, the end result is that I am still feeling stifled, or closed in. Life feels like it is going backward, but at the same time it has moved forward in small ways.  
I am still painting but one step at a time.