Something New Finished

Oil on canvas 32 x 40

This is the finished painting of Facing my Fears.  I still have this new creative focus in life and art to challenge my fears and not put them behind me, but make them a part of me to help me move forward.  Defining my fears has been difficult, since through the years I have covered them with new ways of thinking to get around them.  I thought I was facing my fears then, but really I was only changing the routes to go around them.  
   
I see myself at a transition point in my life, and feeling stagnate.  Although I am passionate about new/old  ideas that I want to pursue, I have been procrastinating to take the steps that I need to make these ideas move forward.   I believe spiritually, psychologically, and physically, that challenging the fears in my life, and moving past them will give me the new energy that I need to progress.  The energy field that surrounds me will be able to open up and allow new nuances to enter and influence my direction.  If I want to keep moving forward in life, I need to cross over the fence,  or jump to the other side of the creek bed, and not be afraid of what's on the other side.  

(I watched a program on Leonardo da Vinci.. it has inspired me to try a portrait painting. :)     

Going Back

Acrylic on Canvas- 25"x 32"
tableau de Yannis

I call this painting tableau de Yannis.   While I was in Nice 2010, I asked Yannis for his advice several times for the direction I should take with this painting. 

I met with Yannis and Paulin again in September. It has been the first time to see them in five years.   It was good to see the gallery again.  It was time to go back, no regrets.   They have shared with me a significant part of my life that will not be forgotten, and for their friendship, I am grateful. 

There was always laughter between the three of us.  We were the three artists.  The best moments were spent filling my sketch book with characters and scenes while drinking vin chaude or beer in the afternoon.  We spent hours in bars sitting at a table, telling our stories conveyed in small caricature drawings.  There was once a day we spent a few too many hours at one of our favorite bars.  Our laughter and behavior started to become a little too disruptive, and eventually we were asked to leave.  There was much joy between the three of us. 

les trois amigos

 It felt good to be back again, like a second home, seeing them, and knowing that there could still be a small part of me in them as well. 

Something New

Something new, but back to something old also.    This is a painting for a concept to look at my fears.  As a result, it has influenced a lot of decisions in my daily life, and evaluating my anxieties and fears to determine their validity.   Instead of holding back, doing it anyway without "fear" of the impression that I may give out or of the consequences.  

I've spent the day in my studio today listening to Beethoven, evaluating my next step with this painting,  intending to take my brush into hand.  But today and lately, I have been too distracted.   I am overwhelmed by my thoughts and planning for my next trip to France,   Villefranche-sur-mer. It's been a long time since I have made this journey, and I hope to be able to make peace with the sea. 

Happy Day, May 2011 Villefranche sur mer

Progression

From this: 

PHASE  1:  Oil on Canvas 30x42

To this: 

PHASE 2-  Oil on Canvas 30x42

A progression from inspiration and motivation to a product of my thoughts and emotions and aspirations.   I am still not sure where I am going with this phase.  I am still experimenting in painting with no  planning or design and using intuition.  My subconscious is revealing what it believes needs to happen, even when I consciously try not to be predictable.