Something New Finished

Oil on canvas 32 x 40

This is the finished painting of Facing my Fears.  I still have this new creative focus in life and art to challenge my fears and not put them behind me, but make them a part of me to help me move forward.  Defining my fears has been difficult, since through the years I have covered them with new ways of thinking to get around them.  I thought I was facing my fears then, but really I was only changing the routes to go around them.  
   
I see myself at a transition point in my life, and feeling stagnate.  Although I am passionate about new/old  ideas that I want to pursue, I have been procrastinating to take the steps that I need to make these ideas move forward.   I believe spiritually, psychologically, and physically, that challenging the fears in my life, and moving past them will give me the new energy that I need to progress.  The energy field that surrounds me will be able to open up and allow new nuances to enter and influence my direction.  If I want to keep moving forward in life, I need to cross over the fence,  or jump to the other side of the creek bed, and not be afraid of what's on the other side.  

(I watched a program on Leonardo da Vinci.. it has inspired me to try a portrait painting. :)     

Something New

Something new, but back to something old also.    This is a painting for a concept to look at my fears.  As a result, it has influenced a lot of decisions in my daily life, and evaluating my anxieties and fears to determine their validity.   Instead of holding back, doing it anyway without "fear" of the impression that I may give out or of the consequences.  

I've spent the day in my studio today listening to Beethoven, evaluating my next step with this painting,  intending to take my brush into hand.  But today and lately, I have been too distracted.   I am overwhelmed by my thoughts and planning for my next trip to France,   Villefranche-sur-mer. It's been a long time since I have made this journey, and I hope to be able to make peace with the sea. 

Happy Day, May 2011 Villefranche sur mer

Progression

From this: 

PHASE  1:  Oil on Canvas 30x42

To this: 

PHASE 2-  Oil on Canvas 30x42

A progression from inspiration and motivation to a product of my thoughts and emotions and aspirations.   I am still not sure where I am going with this phase.  I am still experimenting in painting with no  planning or design and using intuition.  My subconscious is revealing what it believes needs to happen, even when I consciously try not to be predictable. 

Autumn

  Autumn Waterscape -Oil on Canvas 36" x 48"

I didn't want to paint another waterscape, but this came out so quickly and easily, I did not let it go.  I let it flow, and I am not disappointed.  The colors show my transition into less blue and more sepia tones.   

Feeling a little blue lately.   My birthday is arriving soon, and much reflection about my past, present, and future,  the unknown future. 
I just finished a new painting.  A painting with no forethought, planning, design, or reason, only intuition and desire.  It gave me a lot of new energy and inspiration to start another. Hopefully this new productive energy can carry me through the winter, and into a new season.   

Transitions

Oil on Canvas- 36"x 48"

I finally finished my blank canvas in July.  My life has been transitioning with work, and I am feeling myself opening up for more travel again.   

Transitioning and acquainting myself with my past, and finding its bearings on my current path of Life Journey. Transitioning away from the daily routines that do not provide me growth, and cause me to question my place in the broader scheme of life.   Living and searching for more joys in life, and cutting out the persons and activities that feel like there is a weight wrapped around my ankles. 

Maybe I'm just tapping my heals wishing "There's no place like home, There's no place like home."

My Blank Canvas

Charcoal on Canvas- 36"x 48"

 My new canvas hanging on the wall in my studio, unfinished. Five months it has been waiting.  Everyday I look at it ,and study it, and I see all the colors and brush strokes. All the steps that I need to take to make it complete.

As spring brings warmer days, I want this scene to come to life.

Day Dreams

Italian Water scape  Oil on Canvas- 36"x 48"

My work has been challenging in the real world, and as a result, I think my paintings seem to reflect some of the challenges that I am facing and the hope of some relief at the end of the year.  I started and finished this painting to help me work through a difficult time.  

My dreams of traveling are mixed with a feelings of entrapment, 
but I know that this phase of living will have an end. I'm already planning travels and filling my thoughts with day dreams along the Cote d'Azur with sunshine, blue sky, wine and the Sea.  

In subject and composition, I have started a new painting with this same theme, but it is laid out with a different point perspective.  I am anxious to see the future that the finished piece will reveal to me. 

Dreams

Italian Water scape  Oil on Canvas- 22"x42"

A few weeks ago  a friend and I were talking about vacations. We discussed what the perfect vacation meant to each of us.   The perfect vacation to me is time away from my routine life, and painting...Spending a little time each day painting on a canvas or in other types of creative endeavors. 

I have traveled twice this summer to two separate inspiring locations... but since the logements were not my own, my creative time was limited by participating only as an observer.   I have a dream to find a space one day that I can make my own, and set up "shop".  Somewhere to escape for productive and frequent times away; regenerating my energy. 

A place where I can explore the landscapes around me and feel the energy of my neighbors and life on the street.  A place that I don't have to feel isolated, but a place where I can be productive and focused with mes oeuvres and still have an opportunity to step out and interact in the world around me.  This dream is very familiar to me because this dream was once a part of my life.  And now I seek this dream again. 

These words come to my mind "Seek and you will find", but I know also that "when you dream, you are already there." 

Painting Inspired

Oil on Canvas 32" x 40"

 I completed this painting after my trip to Italy.  I was a little hesitant to believe that this painting could be completed because the architect in me wanted to see a little more depth and realism for the architectural symbolism.  I was eager to start work on another idea, and I wanted to move forward.   I came to the conclusion that this painting represents a vision of a memory, like recalling a dream that is not so vivid after you awake.   I am working on another painting with the same theme and colors, and feel very inspired by the colors. 

I originally wanted this painting to be full of all my thoughts for Florence and of the architecture in Florence.  But from my perspective, it is apparent that I could not escape the beauty that I saw in Venice.  I am merging together all my thoughts and feelings into one painting, a dream and a memory. 

Short Stories



Oil on Canvas 11x14

Recently I was inspired by a friend of mine who is also an artist to work in a smaller format.   This was an important moment for me because until I saw the body of work he had produced, I was giving up painting and being an artist.   In the past few months since my last post, painting represented to me not a labor of love but labor to prove my value and worthiness to call myself an artist.  Without any new inspiration, I closed the door to future work. 



Oil on Canvas  11x14



 

It has been refreshing for me to work again in these small canvas's.  It's a quiet passion.  A smaller work that does not come with the rewards of seeing a large canvas come to life, but gives me the satisfaction of moving forward. I am still passionate about my Lake Scenes, or now they have become just "Water Scenes".  This format lets me continue to work with my mind's eye freely and without justification. 

Hyperbola of Nice

"Hyperbola of Nice" - Oil on Canvas

I completed this painting in spring of 2009, after my first trip to Nice, France.   I only stayed for a long weekend.  I call this painting the Hyperbola of Nice because after I returned, I felt worlds had collided, and something new had opened up inside of me.   A new energy in my life, an awakening of the spirit.   I did not know then the adventure and future that would unfold and develop for me.      

It has been almost a year since my last trip to Nice, returning with the remainder of my paintings.   I made a new years resolution to not dream or reflect back too much on the past;  to not live in the past and compare the past with the present.   In doing so, I have been able to feel a new sense of belonging in my home in Indiana, and l have not felt the restlessness that used to call me to a life far away.    I have truly found calm.  One of my friends noted that I am very "centered".   

My life here does not have all the architecture, culture, and food that I still love and miss.  Sometimes when I am walking I can feel in my world around me a dullness, and the environment (the city) is wrapped in a cold rainy grey.   But inside of me I feel a Light.   A joy inside of me that makes everything worthwhile.   A feeling of home.

I am working on a new painting.  I want it to reflect all the centeredness that I am feeling.  I am hoping to produce several of the same subject to study different textures, colors, and techniques of overlay.   It's been a slow process, but a bright spot in my life for grey winter days.

In the last week, I found myself reflecting again to all I miss overseas.   Indiana has had a few sunny days that felt like the Spring that I remembered in France and Italy.   I remembered my New Year's resolution.  I'm not ready to return yet.  I will return when I no longer anticipate how I am going to navigate through drama.   

Calm Lake

Calm Lake   18x24 Charcoal on paper

This is a charcoal drawing that is part of a series that I completed in September.  I have completed  six drawings of the same composition; each experimenting with different techniques.

Late August 2012,  I traveled to a secluded lake in Northern Michigan for a long weekend.  This drawing is a view of the tree line and horizon across the lake.   This short voyage brought calm, peace, and clarity to my life for three days.   I am hoping to recapture these feelings in a new painting that I will begin soon.





I'm currently trying to complete an oil painting that I started work in July.  It has been a long process of challenging myself with new ideas to help me find passion but with only minimal results.  During my latest attempt to work on this unfinished oil painting, I challenged myself again. I found inspiration by adding red paint in the final unfinished corner.  It's not very attractive, but it was a good exercise for me to release some inner confusion that showed in the line weights and the texture.    After the paint is dry, I will be covering the red with white.

I am  nearing the completion of this painting, and I am very anxious to begin a new one inspired by the charcoal lake scene drawing.    I think this charcoal drawing and the unfinished  oil painting are very close to the emotions that are causing me unrest, impatience, and confusion.  Maybe even disorientation?    One of my friends gave me this analogy, "Maybe you are a saltwater fish, trying to live in freshwater?".  and my reply,  "I guess I need to figure out how to grow an extra set of gills so that I can breathe in both environments. "     This is my challenge.  

Green Blues

48"x80" Oil on Canvas

This is the most recent oil painting that I have completed.  I believe this painting is going to represent a bridge into a new collection of my work-  
a new direction of colors and texture.

This painting is a continuation of the previous oil painting that I posted, but a much larger size.  I wanted to work again with the palette knife, and use again some of elements and techniques from the painting "San Remo".   Even with the Sea and its inspirational waves very far away from me, there is still a strong water theme in my work.   Instead of representing water, I am representing waves of Life's Energy that flow through and around everyone.  

The churning waters of the green-blue hues are carrying me, and helping me to discover a new direction of living and believing each day.  My life is very stable, calm, reflective, and content, but my paintings continue to reflect the passions that are still always a part of me.  I am alive and growing-  an energy of evolution.

Sun on the Sea

After my last trip to 6 Place Vieille as an artist a painter, I returned to the United States with a few of my paintings.   I was heartbroken.    All the hard work, investment, inspiration, and hope for the future success of 6 Place Vieille as an artist's gallery had vanished.    Two and half years of love and dedication slipped away in a moment with no chance to regain it.  

In the months after, several of my friends began suggesting to me that I go back to Nice, France to 6 Place Vieille, and remove the remainder of my artwork from the gallery.   The condition of the gallery was deteriorating, and the condition of the artwork left behind may also find itself deteriorated if I did not find it a new home.   

One of my friends in Italy empathized with my situation and suggested I look at Italy for a new adventure and maybe even find in Italy a new gallery.   A new hope arose in me, and during this time, this painting became the symbol of my strength to recover my artwork and give it a safe place to reside.   Whether Italy, or the United States, it did not matter, all my work needed a new home.  

I joked with my friends as my day of departure came closer.   My artwork- oil paintings and charcoal sketches- are like children left behind locked away in the back of the dark gallery.  I could hear them crying (speaking only in French) for their future to once again see the light of day, and most of all, for their safety.   There is truly a piece of me with each of them.

Sketch 2008



Unfinished Painting 2008, 30"x40"



These are images of the painting in 2008 before it was completed.  This is another painting that I had stopped work on it uninspired, and returned to work on it with a renewed passion early 2012.  I found this unfinished painting in my studio and was inspired by the circle.  I wanted a small canvas that I could go back to my roots as a painter and use the palette knife.  The final painting was a study that brought to me a new spirit and a new beginning for a new series of my work.   Hope had returned to me.   

remainder of oil paintings and charcoal sketches from Nice

              

This is a photograph of the paintings and charcoal sketches that I brought back with me to my home / studio/ gallery in Indianapolis. The story of the mission for their return had many tears and drama.   While I was in Italy and in France a passion and urgency filled me, and it became very important to make sure that all my work returned home with me.  One painting remained behind,  "28 Vallombrose".  I could not find a portfolio large enough for me to pack and carry it safely.  My dream of working as an artist in Italy is still a beautiful dream, and maybe one day it will be a dream to find fruition.   But for now, I am at peace.

  

In June I had a small private Vernissage open house exhibit in Indianapolis to celebrate the return of the paintings and to tell their story.    Slowly I have been able find inspiration and passion from many sources, and I am now realizing that all my energy doesn't come from the Sea.   I am continuing to work on series of oil paintings without the Sea, but the Sea is still a big part of me.  

First Oil Painting painted in the Gallery

This is the first "oil" painting that I painted in the gallery in Nice.  I arrived in Nice with a few of my favorite brushes,  a small supply of my essential oil colors, and bought the rest of my supplies while I was in Nice.  It was exciting to finally paint in the gallery in the medium that I understood completely and naturally. Although my first oil, this painting is the last painting I completed in the gallery.  

Painting while it was displayed outside the gallery

This painting represents all the wonderful days days I spent in Nice in the gallery 6 Place Vieille working as an artist,  as a painter.  The joys of working in the gallery with the doors wide open beckoning guests to enter.   Listening to music from a small radio playing jazz, classical, or romantic french music.  

There were always people passing by that would casually stop in to see the works and talk with me.  

Wine was always available to guests who stopped by to visit.  There was fresh bread and olives to eat while I worked.  I could work long shifts without a break. Cool breezes, sunshine, and the sounds of the street in Vieux Nice. It was a world of heightened creativity for me.  I had found a home.  Maybe it wasn't as much as a home in a physical place, but I had found a home within myself, the discovery of freedom to be a painter, and the gallery helped me discover that place within me.

This is the second painting I started in oils while I was at the gallery.  The  challenge of this painting was to make use of an existing painted canvas, and rework it to make something new.  The red tones and elevated textures are from the original painting underneath. 

I didn't have time to finish it during my stay.  On a later voyage, I brought it home with me to the United States with other paintings that I had in the gallery.  The image above is the completed version.

Beautiful memories I will always keep and cherish for my days I worked at 6 Place Vieille.  My life will always be growing and moving forward.  All things happen for a reason.    There was whisper inside of me, a small intuitive voice was whispering to re-discover my Dream. 

Lost Painting




resides Hotel Star, Nice, France

This is the painting that was Lost in Nice, France, September 2010. 

I began work on this painting in May 2009.  I was challenged by the original composition that I lost direction with this painting and was not able to complete the work.   More than a year later in September 2010,  I revisited this painting, and was able to comfortably experiment with some new ideas.   This painting reflects the complications and challenges that began to develop in my life by trying to maintain a gallery and dream in France along side my life in the United States.  But most importantly for me, it also reflects a new freedom in my spirit as a painter that was beginning to unfold.  

Feeling confident that this painting belonged in the gallery for everything that it represented,  I sent it to the gallery 6 Place Vieille.  I was happy to have another painting completed in Oils to represent me in the gallery.

I planned a visit to Nice around the arrival time of the painting.  It never arrived.  I waited for the phone call from Fed Ex to confirm delivery, or neighbors who had offered to sign if it arrived in my absence.....   It didn't arrive.   It was gone.  I was nervous and disappointed the entire trip.   I called and talked to Fed Ex, but the details of its location were not specified.  Other details for its possible "Location" were speculated. (That is all I will say for my speculations)

This is a photograph of the painting after it was found and delivered to the gallery.    The one on the left shows the original packaging that had been left untouched, the one on the right... Voila!  the unveiling.   

I returned to Nice early January 2011 after spending the Christmas Holiday in San Remo, Italy (also located along the coast of the blue Sea).     While I was there, questions about the painting returned again, the stress for the lost painting, the unknown, and actually having the hope of finding its location.  Drama.  I called Fed Ex again, and received the name and address of the person who signed for it.    It was at the University's School of Medicine, "28 Vallombrose".    I went to the school and began my search for the "name".   Because of the New Year's holiday, the Doctor who had the painting was still on vacation.  I was able to obtain his cell phone number. 

After I left Nice, the painting was picked up by my friend.  It was still in it's original packaging.  Its voyage is still a mystery; the details unknown for the path of that voyage I have laid to rest.

This is the first painting that I sent to Nice for my first Vernissage to celebrate the opening of gallery 6 Place Vieille.   This painting was painted in my studio in Indiana, and directly inspired by my second vacation trip to Nice,  August 2009.  The inspiration and energy that came with me when I returned was intense.  I was able to start and finish the painting within two weeks after my return.  I was proud to send it because it show cased my skill in oil painting that was unfamiliar to my friends in Nice.  This was a painting that represented me in my new gallery.



This is me at the door of the gallery for the Vernissage, March, 2010.  I didn't have a large body of artwork to display for the show (wall of paintings on the left) but the evening was a success.  Lots of wine, live guitar music, and pizza, and many new guests and friends arrived to see the opening.