Something New Finished

Oil on canvas 32 x 40

This is the finished painting of Facing my Fears.  I still have this new creative focus in life and art to challenge my fears and not put them behind me, but make them a part of me to help me move forward.  Defining my fears has been difficult, since through the years I have covered them with new ways of thinking to get around them.  I thought I was facing my fears then, but really I was only changing the routes to go around them.  
   
I see myself at a transition point in my life, and feeling stagnate.  Although I am passionate about new/old  ideas that I want to pursue, I have been procrastinating to take the steps that I need to make these ideas move forward.   I believe spiritually, psychologically, and physically, that challenging the fears in my life, and moving past them will give me the new energy that I need to progress.  The energy field that surrounds me will be able to open up and allow new nuances to enter and influence my direction.  If I want to keep moving forward in life, I need to cross over the fence,  or jump to the other side of the creek bed, and not be afraid of what's on the other side.  

(I watched a program on Leonardo da Vinci.. it has inspired me to try a portrait painting. :)     

Going Back

Acrylic on Canvas- 25"x 32"
tableau de Yannis

I call this painting tableau de Yannis.   While I was in Nice 2010, I asked Yannis for his advice several times for the direction I should take with this painting. 

I met with Yannis and Paulin again in September. It has been the first time to see them in five years.   It was good to see the gallery again.  It was time to go back, no regrets.   They have shared with me a significant part of my life that will not be forgotten, and for their friendship, I am grateful. 

There was always laughter between the three of us.  We were the three artists.  The best moments were spent filling my sketch book with characters and scenes while drinking vin chaude or beer in the afternoon.  We spent hours in bars sitting at a table, telling our stories conveyed in small caricature drawings.  There was once a day we spent a few too many hours at one of our favorite bars.  Our laughter and behavior started to become a little too disruptive, and eventually we were asked to leave.  There was much joy between the three of us. 

les trois amigos

 It felt good to be back again, like a second home, seeing them, and knowing that there could still be a small part of me in them as well. 

Transitions

Oil on Canvas- 36"x 48"

I finally finished my blank canvas in July.  My life has been transitioning with work, and I am feeling myself opening up for more travel again.   

Transitioning and acquainting myself with my past, and finding its bearings on my current path of Life Journey. Transitioning away from the daily routines that do not provide me growth, and cause me to question my place in the broader scheme of life.   Living and searching for more joys in life, and cutting out the persons and activities that feel like there is a weight wrapped around my ankles. 

Maybe I'm just tapping my heals wishing "There's no place like home, There's no place like home."

Day Dreams

Italian Water scape  Oil on Canvas- 36"x 48"

My work has been challenging in the real world, and as a result, I think my paintings seem to reflect some of the challenges that I am facing and the hope of some relief at the end of the year.  I started and finished this painting to help me work through a difficult time.  

My dreams of traveling are mixed with a feelings of entrapment, 
but I know that this phase of living will have an end. I'm already planning travels and filling my thoughts with day dreams along the Cote d'Azur with sunshine, blue sky, wine and the Sea.  

In subject and composition, I have started a new painting with this same theme, but it is laid out with a different point perspective.  I am anxious to see the future that the finished piece will reveal to me. 

Dreams

Italian Water scape  Oil on Canvas- 22"x42"

A few weeks ago  a friend and I were talking about vacations. We discussed what the perfect vacation meant to each of us.   The perfect vacation to me is time away from my routine life, and painting...Spending a little time each day painting on a canvas or in other types of creative endeavors. 

I have traveled twice this summer to two separate inspiring locations... but since the logements were not my own, my creative time was limited by participating only as an observer.   I have a dream to find a space one day that I can make my own, and set up "shop".  Somewhere to escape for productive and frequent times away; regenerating my energy. 

A place where I can explore the landscapes around me and feel the energy of my neighbors and life on the street.  A place that I don't have to feel isolated, but a place where I can be productive and focused with mes oeuvres and still have an opportunity to step out and interact in the world around me.  This dream is very familiar to me because this dream was once a part of my life.  And now I seek this dream again. 

These words come to my mind "Seek and you will find", but I know also that "when you dream, you are already there." 

Painting Inspired

Oil on Canvas 32" x 40"

 I completed this painting after my trip to Italy.  I was a little hesitant to believe that this painting could be completed because the architect in me wanted to see a little more depth and realism for the architectural symbolism.  I was eager to start work on another idea, and I wanted to move forward.   I came to the conclusion that this painting represents a vision of a memory, like recalling a dream that is not so vivid after you awake.   I am working on another painting with the same theme and colors, and feel very inspired by the colors. 

I originally wanted this painting to be full of all my thoughts for Florence and of the architecture in Florence.  But from my perspective, it is apparent that I could not escape the beauty that I saw in Venice.  I am merging together all my thoughts and feelings into one painting, a dream and a memory. 

Going back to Italy

It has been too long since I have seen my blog and written in it.  Once this was a place for my personal therapy and for personal reflection, but then it became a place where I could only see what was missing in my life.  While feeling severely uninspired, this blog became a reminder of who I had been, and the parts of me that I felt were lost.   But finally, I was able to take a long awaited and much needed vacation for myself.  My dream for the last two years has been to return to Italy, Firenze. 

It was a much needed break from my professional work ; work that seemed to never want to stop.  I literally was about to collapse under all the stress of other peoples daily requests and problems for me to solve.  But  having 10 days away from the office has transformed my health and attitude. I only peeked at my work emails a couple times, and that was enough.  

I chose Florence and Venice for my travels.  I carefully laid out the course of my journey for these two destinations and the number of days spent in each.  I am spontaneous in my traveling that I don't plan too many visits to places that I "must see".  I always give myself the leisure of strolling the city to explore, and only 1 or 2 must see places.  After all, it is my vacation. I do not want the added stress of a day filled with sites and a time schedule too constrained.  That would be work.  I tell myself, I can return on another trip, and see what I missed on the last trip.

Venice was a last minute destination. I had never desired to travel to Venice but it was highly recommended.  I only had one night and one entire day to spend in Venice.  I would not hesitate to return.   I adored the tiny winding streets and the water canals.  Blue sky and sunshine graced me on this trip.    

My pilgrimage to Florence that I have been anticipating for the last two years, was more of a trip of reconciliation with the past than exploration.  I had traveled to Florence before, but there were many memories of confusion, sadness, and dismay that I have associated with this city. My heart knew it was a beautiful wonderful place to visit, but the past several years, I have not been able to enjoy looking back or seeing the old photos from my previous journey. 

But, this trip finally gave me new light and meaning for Florence. It became my place again.    I am very happy and content I was finally able to experience it's beauty.  I only wish that while I was there,  that I had more time to just sit and relax and soak up the atmosphere.  It was my mission to walk everywhere, wander the streets and reconnect with old places with new eyes. I will return. 

 

I have been painting again.  I am very pleased to know that my painters block has been lifted.  I see in my mind's eye a melange of orange and yellow patterns that represent the colors of Italy. I hope that I can continue to find balance between my work and personal life to pursue these new inspirations. 

Florence

Venice

                                      

Sun on the Sea

After my last trip to 6 Place Vieille as an artist a painter, I returned to the United States with a few of my paintings.   I was heartbroken.    All the hard work, investment, inspiration, and hope for the future success of 6 Place Vieille as an artist's gallery had vanished.    Two and half years of love and dedication slipped away in a moment with no chance to regain it.  

In the months after, several of my friends began suggesting to me that I go back to Nice, France to 6 Place Vieille, and remove the remainder of my artwork from the gallery.   The condition of the gallery was deteriorating, and the condition of the artwork left behind may also find itself deteriorated if I did not find it a new home.   

One of my friends in Italy empathized with my situation and suggested I look at Italy for a new adventure and maybe even find in Italy a new gallery.   A new hope arose in me, and during this time, this painting became the symbol of my strength to recover my artwork and give it a safe place to reside.   Whether Italy, or the United States, it did not matter, all my work needed a new home.  

I joked with my friends as my day of departure came closer.   My artwork- oil paintings and charcoal sketches- are like children left behind locked away in the back of the dark gallery.  I could hear them crying (speaking only in French) for their future to once again see the light of day, and most of all, for their safety.   There is truly a piece of me with each of them.

Sketch 2008



Unfinished Painting 2008, 30"x40"



These are images of the painting in 2008 before it was completed.  This is another painting that I had stopped work on it uninspired, and returned to work on it with a renewed passion early 2012.  I found this unfinished painting in my studio and was inspired by the circle.  I wanted a small canvas that I could go back to my roots as a painter and use the palette knife.  The final painting was a study that brought to me a new spirit and a new beginning for a new series of my work.   Hope had returned to me.   

remainder of oil paintings and charcoal sketches from Nice

              

This is a photograph of the paintings and charcoal sketches that I brought back with me to my home / studio/ gallery in Indianapolis. The story of the mission for their return had many tears and drama.   While I was in Italy and in France a passion and urgency filled me, and it became very important to make sure that all my work returned home with me.  One painting remained behind,  "28 Vallombrose".  I could not find a portfolio large enough for me to pack and carry it safely.  My dream of working as an artist in Italy is still a beautiful dream, and maybe one day it will be a dream to find fruition.   But for now, I am at peace.

  

In June I had a small private Vernissage open house exhibit in Indianapolis to celebrate the return of the paintings and to tell their story.    Slowly I have been able find inspiration and passion from many sources, and I am now realizing that all my energy doesn't come from the Sea.   I am continuing to work on series of oil paintings without the Sea, but the Sea is still a big part of me.  

First Oil Painting painted in the Gallery

This is the first "oil" painting that I painted in the gallery in Nice.  I arrived in Nice with a few of my favorite brushes,  a small supply of my essential oil colors, and bought the rest of my supplies while I was in Nice.  It was exciting to finally paint in the gallery in the medium that I understood completely and naturally. Although my first oil, this painting is the last painting I completed in the gallery.  

Painting while it was displayed outside the gallery

This painting represents all the wonderful days days I spent in Nice in the gallery 6 Place Vieille working as an artist,  as a painter.  The joys of working in the gallery with the doors wide open beckoning guests to enter.   Listening to music from a small radio playing jazz, classical, or romantic french music.  

There were always people passing by that would casually stop in to see the works and talk with me.  

Wine was always available to guests who stopped by to visit.  There was fresh bread and olives to eat while I worked.  I could work long shifts without a break. Cool breezes, sunshine, and the sounds of the street in Vieux Nice. It was a world of heightened creativity for me.  I had found a home.  Maybe it wasn't as much as a home in a physical place, but I had found a home within myself, the discovery of freedom to be a painter, and the gallery helped me discover that place within me.

This is the second painting I started in oils while I was at the gallery.  The  challenge of this painting was to make use of an existing painted canvas, and rework it to make something new.  The red tones and elevated textures are from the original painting underneath. 

I didn't have time to finish it during my stay.  On a later voyage, I brought it home with me to the United States with other paintings that I had in the gallery.  The image above is the completed version.

Beautiful memories I will always keep and cherish for my days I worked at 6 Place Vieille.  My life will always be growing and moving forward.  All things happen for a reason.    There was whisper inside of me, a small intuitive voice was whispering to re-discover my Dream. 

VilleFranche

This oil painting represents a beautiful day that I spent in the village of VilleFranche -sur-Mer early May 2011. It's size is approximately 4'-0" x    5'-3".   This day was the first time, after all the time that I had spent near the Mediterranean, that I finally swam in the Sea and soaked up the Riviera Sun.  So much poetry and inspiration about the sea came to me that afternoon. I put to paper the words and sketches.  As with San Remo,  I again found a new home.

These are sketches I made for the painting during my last few days in Nice.   I reflected on the Sea for all the beauty and the joy it can bring to our lives, but also how much sadness and tragedy that it is also able to bring to us.

The Sea has an ancient history of wars, lives lost,  tragedies,  and destruction by its water.  It  can show us its power and force, but also the sea can bring joy and contentment.  Its water can be inviting with its gently moving waves and its beautiful blue hues, or by watching the sunlight sparkling on the water. It has its familiar scents and sounds that give us life.  

The Sea deserves our respect for all the energy and strength it can take from us as well as all the energy and strength it can give back to us.  It is to be respected as a living being.

This is a picture of me experiencing the Joys of the Sea.  I was feeling joy, peace, and love of life.   The waves washed up around me giving to me its good life energy and taking away the past and future, and leaving me in the moment.  

Sunset, Villefranche-sur-Mer  decembre 2011

Lost Painting




resides Hotel Star, Nice, France

This is the painting that was Lost in Nice, France, September 2010. 

I began work on this painting in May 2009.  I was challenged by the original composition that I lost direction with this painting and was not able to complete the work.   More than a year later in September 2010,  I revisited this painting, and was able to comfortably experiment with some new ideas.   This painting reflects the complications and challenges that began to develop in my life by trying to maintain a gallery and dream in France along side my life in the United States.  But most importantly for me, it also reflects a new freedom in my spirit as a painter that was beginning to unfold.  

Feeling confident that this painting belonged in the gallery for everything that it represented,  I sent it to the gallery 6 Place Vieille.  I was happy to have another painting completed in Oils to represent me in the gallery.

I planned a visit to Nice around the arrival time of the painting.  It never arrived.  I waited for the phone call from Fed Ex to confirm delivery, or neighbors who had offered to sign if it arrived in my absence.....   It didn't arrive.   It was gone.  I was nervous and disappointed the entire trip.   I called and talked to Fed Ex, but the details of its location were not specified.  Other details for its possible "Location" were speculated. (That is all I will say for my speculations)

This is a photograph of the painting after it was found and delivered to the gallery.    The one on the left shows the original packaging that had been left untouched, the one on the right... Voila!  the unveiling.   

I returned to Nice early January 2011 after spending the Christmas Holiday in San Remo, Italy (also located along the coast of the blue Sea).     While I was there, questions about the painting returned again, the stress for the lost painting, the unknown, and actually having the hope of finding its location.  Drama.  I called Fed Ex again, and received the name and address of the person who signed for it.    It was at the University's School of Medicine, "28 Vallombrose".    I went to the school and began my search for the "name".   Because of the New Year's holiday, the Doctor who had the painting was still on vacation.  I was able to obtain his cell phone number. 

After I left Nice, the painting was picked up by my friend.  It was still in it's original packaging.  Its voyage is still a mystery; the details unknown for the path of that voyage I have laid to rest.

This is the first painting that I sent to Nice for my first Vernissage to celebrate the opening of gallery 6 Place Vieille.   This painting was painted in my studio in Indiana, and directly inspired by my second vacation trip to Nice,  August 2009.  The inspiration and energy that came with me when I returned was intense.  I was able to start and finish the painting within two weeks after my return.  I was proud to send it because it show cased my skill in oil painting that was unfamiliar to my friends in Nice.  This was a painting that represented me in my new gallery.



This is me at the door of the gallery for the Vernissage, March, 2010.  I didn't have a large body of artwork to display for the show (wall of paintings on the left) but the evening was a success.  Lots of wine, live guitar music, and pizza, and many new guests and friends arrived to see the opening.